Disney Unveils First Ever Virgin Princess

LOS ANGELES - In an effort to diversify the backgrounds and ethnicity of their characters, the officials of Disney introduced Lily of Hazelberry, the company's first ever virgin princess.

"While our fans have long been enchanted by Belle, Ariel and Elsa, we wanted to create a relatable princess for girls everywhere who are still virgins," Disney executive vice president Zenia Mucha told the media.

Mucha described the new princess as being the only Disney princess who has never had sexual intercourse. "She's quirky, confident and pure 14-year-old ascendant to the throne of the magical kingdom of Hazelberry."

"All Disney princesses have extraordinary stories and inner qualities that make them wonderful and unique, but we've always lacked a heroince who hasn't yet slept with her boyfriend or another male character."

"We are proud that Lily will finally provide a princess to look up to for the large demographic of young girls who, due to age, choice, or unavailable of sexual partner,s have not yet experience [sexual] intercourse," Mucha added to the statement.

Disney officials also told the media that sexually active girls would also love Lily's best friend, Princess Misty. "Princess Misty lives in a neighboring enchanted realm and just moved in with her slightly older, athletic, jerk boyfriend, Clint."

Lily of Hazelberry is set to appear in a 12-episode TV series before her story culminates into a 3-part movie that will climax to an amusement park ride in Disney World.
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